All These Things We Feel
by fallen11angel
Summary: Summer has got her life sorted. High School is over and four best friends need to split ways. But just when she thinks she's alright, Freddy Jones comes crawling back into her life and previous crushes return. FreddySummer.
1. Last Summer Day

**All These Things We Feel**

_Prologue_

Disclaimer : I really promise that I do not own the characters in this story. Although I would very much like to own Freddy and/or Zack, but then again, everyone says that too.

Summary : Summer has got her life sorted. High School is over and four best friends need to split ways. But just when she thinks she's alright, Freddy Jones comes crawling back into her life and previous crushes return.

So, anyway on with the story...

* * *

_**Summer**_

I clicked my tongue loudly as I strolled leisurely down the half-busy hallway, slipping my locker key out the front pocket of my plaid shirt before hastily shoving it into the lock, and giving it a good old twist. As usual, it failed to open properly and I was quick to irritate. I sighed, feeling defeated and punched the locker door causing it to swing wide open, revealing my tidy schoolbooks to the entire world – oh well.

"Where the heck is that thing?" I murmured, shifting through my belongings carefully, looking for something amongst the orderly rubble. In the heat of the late summer afternoon, a pulled at my collar and took the navy bag off my shoulders, dropping it beside my feet – I exhaled when I felt the weight confiscate and almost immediately, I returned to searching. Before long, I saw something at the back of the small metal cabinet and I knew I had found it.

With great relief, I pulled out a colourful scrapbook from out of the locker and held it with both strong hands, stroking its cover before blowing the dust off – or the lack of it. I smiled, slamming the locker door shut again, then retrieving my bag from the floor, and swinging it over my shoulder. I hugged the large book to my chest and ran down the hallway, out into the field eagerly in the hopes of finding the group.

I would have said my best friends, because frankly, Zack and Katie are both my best friends. Somebody else, however has a reputation for hanging around with us, therefore it's "the group" because the uncanny Freddy Jones is there. I have never been too fond of him.

Well, actually that's a lie, because I am too fond of him. In fact, I have crushed on him since the fifth grade. Except, there's a slight catch, because Freddy is head over heels with Katie, and it sucks. I hate everything about him; his arrogance, his personality and basically, everything about him – but I still have something brewing for the guy, and I really can't get rid of it. So, hiding it is the next best thing. It's going pretty good so far.

"Summer!" Zack yelled, waving from the distance and beaming at me, he shifted in his grassy seat.

"Hey Zack!" I replied, waving back before hurriedly making my way towards him. As usual, after school before band practice the four of us would meet in the field – just to, well, hang out. To be honest it was great fun, just talking, which is the mean reason that the three of us are so close. As much as I detest it, Zack and Katie consider Freddy their best friend too – I don't know him well enough to call him that.

"Hey! How about that, Sum, you're late!" Zack said as I plopped myself down on the moist grass beside him, without delay my eyes snapped over to Katie. She waved and smiled, and in contrast to her sarcastic, shady behaviour, she bared a sweet smile. Freddy on the other hand, fully ignored my presence and carried on gaping at Katie.

"I know! I was just getting this out of my locker, plus I had to stick around to finish my history project." I shrugged, and then I outstretched my arm so that the both of them could see the scrapbook. Their faces light up when they saw it and Katie took it from me, placing it on her lap.

"Wow! Sum, this looks amazing!" Katie said, her finger tracing the brightly coloured writing on the cover, which clearly said 'The Memories Of The School Of Rock!'

"Yeah Tink!" Freddy cheered, finally joining us and peering at the book from over Katie's shoulder, "You actually did something cool!" With a slight pang of annoyance of him hovering there, Katie nudged her shoulder upwards so that it smacked him right in the chin. She grinned when Freddy moaned in pain, clutching onto his face.

I eyed Freddy from the corner of my eye and a frown played onto my lips when I saw him upset. I jumped in a feeling of shock, when I suddenly felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and turned just in time to see Zack smiling at me, sitting closer than he was previously before.

"Don't mind him, he's an ass." He said and patting my back gently, "What's it for?" He continued, pointing a finger at the book, Katie and Freddy were now flicking and scanning through with utmost delicacy. They grinned every now and again when they saw funny photos of the group.

"Well, we're all going our separate ways now. Graduation is in a few days and most of us are going to different schools," I told him, motioning that it was just a dumb book and waving it off– inwards I felt unlike, "I mean the three of you are going to music school and I'm going in a totally opposite direction. So it's for you to take care of now." I gave Zack a smile and he returned it, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into a one armed hug. I blushed and looked away.

It finally sunk in and my heart stung. Graduation was real soon, and after that, it's unlikely I'll be able to see these guys again. True friends can keep in touch – I'll make sure of it. By whatever means I can.

As I said before, the three of them are leaving for Stanford's University Of Music, and they all worked really hard to get in. After applications, auditions and interviews, the three of them have been so tried out. So now that they've been accepted, the three of them are so excited to get started. They're disappearing soon after graduation too.

Laurence, the band's keyboard player, is then going to London to attend The Royal College Of Music in Kensington. Fancy, I know. He's much older now and has decided to return to the classical side of music, and as expected, his parents both fully agree. They support him all the way - we all do.

Billy's going right to fashion school, obviously. Yeah, it's made right for him – destiny, or whatever he says it is. He'll by at home there and I suppose he'll do great. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw his designs up in the fashion light real soon, I mean really, he's changed a lot since those tacky wardrobe costumes in elementary. Now he makes awesome clothes and sometimes, he gives me a few. I love that queer.

Who else? Well Tomika, Marta and Alicia are all off somewhere to do God knows what. I don't really know, but they did mention something of trying out for shows, so good for them. The rest of the guys didn't say, so I assume their doing something that they love too. Especially Gordon and his computer skills, I guess he'll be the next Bill Gates or something. He's a whiz!

I'll miss them all - even those who teased me a lot. That means, Frankie too.

About me, I'm just going to do Business Management in a school pretty far away from here. I believe that it's the best thing to go for, and years of being the band's manager kind of got me ready for that. It's what I'm good at, so I'm giving that a try.

Therefore, it's goodbye to Horace Green High School and Hello to University. Hello to the world outside the teenage mind and I presume that means, goodbye to Freddy Jones too. He won't miss me. I know he won't.

"Hey! Look at that picture of the four of us!" Katie yelled, poking the plastic of the photo, glued into the last page of the book. I snapped out of my daze and peered over them to see. Sure enough, there the photo was – my favourite of the bunch.

All four of us are at band practice and I presume from the looks of it, it's just finished. We all have our arms around each other, and from the right to the left, its Katie, Freddy, then me and Zack. That's probably the closest Freddy and I have ever been, he's actually got his arm around my shoulders, along with Zack too. But still everyone's laughing and looking at one another, we look like we're having fun – Dewey is even in the back playing air guitar.

"Look at the old man playing guitar at back!" Freddy shouted, laughing and showing everybody Dewey in the photo. We all joined in the mindless giggling.

We sighed after a while, as Zack laid down on the grass, giving himself some leverage with his arms and patting down his crisp white school shirt, "I'm really going to miss this." He whispered to himself, but we all heard and nodded in agree.

Katie laid down beside him and they stared at the sky. Watching the clouds as they passed by without a care in the world. Instantly, it took the weight off our shoulders.

Freddy picked up the scrapbook and stared at the cover in awe before smiling to himself. He reached out for his school bag, covered in various rock band badges, and pulled it onto his lap. Slowly, he put the scrapbook in his bag and hugged it to his chest, cherishing the memories.

"McGee, what the heck are you doing?" Zack asked, titling his head to look at him.

Straight away, Freddy looked at me and for a second our eyes met, "I think I want to take this home the most." He said and Zack nodded, going back into conversation with Katie.

I looked away from him but was drawn back when he spoke to me, "Um, Tink I promise to take care of it. Thanks for making something so awesome." He mumbled so only I could hear and I understood it was a compliment from him - the first. For once he sounded sincere and true. My cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink, I felt it.

It was the first time he actually said something like that to me, something nice.

I smiled at him before throwing my gaze onto the floor, just so I didn't see him smiling back.


	2. First Parting Ways

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter One_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

I clutched tightly onto my Graduation hat, toying with its firm exterior between my clammy fingers before placing it under my arm tightly. Consciously, I looked around at the busy surroundings, and I found no familiar faces, even after checking each face a few times. They were all just people in my grade apparently; some I knew, some I dated and some, I thought I had never seen before. The crowd grew busier, and various people even took their seats in either the chairs or in the stands, others just remained standing to catch up with the friends and such. The noise rose too; all I could hear was laughing and murmurs of a choice of conversations, but I refused to listen in for I had better things to think about.

Like finding the gang – excluding Summer, or more specifically Katie.

I shuffled awkwardly in my position, kicking at the dry and malnourished earth beneath my plain black Vans - they actually seemed to be the only half decent shoes I owned, since the rest were tatty Chuck Taylor's and other unbranded stuff. _Sigh_. I brushed a rough hand through my messy blonde hair, and made a face, pulling at my robe so that I could get some air in the summer heat, feeling my thin ACDC shirt clinging onto my lightly damp skin. At least I knew I still smelt good, thanks to fine old cologne.

Without thinking, I shook my arm until my Graduation robe's sleeve slid down to my elbows, and I read my watch, faintly hearing the ticking of its tiny hands. Wow, I actually had a watch today – I guess, there's a first for everything. _3pm, _I'm an hour early, great. I nodded briefly and turned to look behind me, hopeful for somebody I knew. Frankie would definitely be the one to be late – as usual, and so would Katie – so there's no point in counting on those two. The only person that would actually be this damn early would be…

"Summer!" I yelled, smiling falsely at her and waving from past the chattering crowd. I laughed nervously to myself, receiving a few crazy stares from passers-by. She nodded a greeting gesture, and waltzed past the mass of people towards me, reacting quicker than anyone had ever reacted to be with me (creepy); inside I felt uneasy for having to use her. Summer looked around nervously, matching my own emotions when she finally reached me, and I took this as a chance to stuff my hands into my pockets, as I usually did.

Her eyes glanced swiftly over at my choice of outfit and she smiled weakly, making a motion to go elsewhere. Immediately, an discomfiting silence spread thick between us and I gagged, but I wasn't just about to let her leave me here like a loser; I hate being alone, even if that means I have to hang out with dumb old Summer. I bit my lip so that I wouldn't say anything; there was no need to. She could do the talking while I just nodded and pretended to listen, as always.

"See you Jones." She murmured, trying to squeeze past me, and for a moment, I thought she could read my mind, like she could see past my facemask. But I blocked her path like some sort of psycho-freak stalker and just gaped, opening and closing my mouth like I actually had something good to say. 'A fish in no water.' She gave me a weird look before sighing and waving, running off to meet some other person, looking real worried.

Instantly, I saw who she was heading to and it was no peace down there. I knew, from that moment, today was going to be a long graduation. Oh well, at least I could catch the action.

* * *

_**Summer**_

I sighed, excusing myself from Freddy, knowing all too well that I had spoiled another worthy moment alone with him. He made an attempt to stop me from leaving this hell-hole of a tension build and at first I was flattered, within a few seconds I knew that my cheeks were colouring. I turned my head away from him and my eyes caught to familiar figures in the distance, and at once I knew that something wasn't right.

In the manager way that I usually did things, I knew something needed a little bit of sorting out.

I lightly pressed my palms against Freddy's firm chest as I walked past him, sending electrical tingles down my body, but he noticed nothing at all. I picked up speed as I grew more close to the figures, and then I heard what was going on straight away. I scowled at the two in frustration, since they were nearly always fighting nowadays – except, these arguments seemed to increase with each time they met. That was pretty difficult seeing as they lived together.

"Get away from me you stupid ass!" Patty screamed in her annoying tone of voice and backed away from Ned, arms raised, then shoving me hard away so she could get further. She staggered back and didn't even apologize to those she smacked into forcedly. I clutched my arm where I felt the strong hit, and eyed the two with suspicion, though I knew at this point I wouldn't be able to get a word in sideways, "I'm moving out!" She huffed and screeched at the sky, stamping on the dusty ground. All spectators rolled their eyes at her, including me, since we had heard that phrase so many times before.

"That's great! Real great!" Ned retorted, stepping forwards menacingly with a pink, angry face. His fists clenched and he shook slightly in the hopes of stuffing away his rampage on the patronizing Patty. "Why don't you move out of my life too? Don't worry, I won't miss you!" He yelled, before crossing his arms and turning his back on her childishly. From behind me, I heard Freddy chuckle under his breath at Ned's choice of words – at times that drummer could be really stupid and inconsiderate.

"You know what? Maybe I will! I'm just so sick of you, the master of all pushovers and – and that idiotic guy you call your best friend!" She screamed in a high-pitched, and loud voice so that all people within a radius of 100 metres turned around turned around to hear more. She stepped, or more like leapt forwards, and pushed Ned fiercely in the chest, probably thinking it was easier to win against him if they were in a fistfight.

Ned was about to retaliate but Freddy, for once, was quick to react and held him back with his drummer-toned arms. He looked serious now, and did his best to calm our friend down. Patty slapped him, as a last resort and farewell gift to the guy she had once been in love with. We all heard it, and knew it would leave a bruise soon. She sneered and held back her tears, whilst Ned refused to look at her.

"You were my biggest mistake!" She said, her voice dry from the screaming and suddenly, I felt her words sting. Whoa, that was years of mistake for them. Although I sympathized for Ned, as he looked tremendously distraught and Freddy knew it was about time to back away. He stood in the crowd and for a second he caught my eye. Before I could say anything though, he was already looking at some other girls and I exhaled deeply to myself.

Ned laughed, so hard that it was painful. He didn't say anything more and Patty stormed off crying hysterically, making sure to push me over one more time for luck. I cursed under my breath for being so feeble as I fell butt first to the ground, and creating bags full of dust erupt into the air. I coughed and looked up to the people around me, feeling my heart break when Freddy laughed instead of trying to help me out. Thankfully, Ned was quick to apologize for Patty's sake and offered me a hand, but after that he was quick to leave too. Getting into his green Chevy car and driving off hastily - I swear I saw him cry.

Sure, they practically hated each other's guts, but there's still that absence and loss that you're left with to eat you up afterwards. Everyone's felt it before, some time in their life, except those two just got it big time.

Nearly everyone was watching, and I hated the feeling of eyes on me. I really wasn't the wisest of ideas to bring the chaotic, evil queen here to our graduation day. And why might you all ask? Because she sucks and likes to ruin everyone's day. So, I was right. We were all right.

Of course, the band member's parents were here. Well mostly – all but for Freddy's and mine, since our parents were so often away with business. Which meant Dewey and Ned were good to come too, they were basically family in spite of everything, so it was only normal for us to hang around with them non-stop.

We all wanted to say something about Patty coming along, but we could never say no to Ned. Then inside, the whole band (including Ned) knew that this was about to blow up in our faces some day, it just happened it would be right now. Things actually had never been the same for those two since that incident in elementary school with Dewey posing as Ned.

Come on, that was years ago and she still never let it go. There's no word for it that beats – pathetic.

I gulped and heard the voices of several people around me, though my eyesight was blurring. I had always been a bit emotional when it came to real-life drama. I looked up and saw Freddy walking away from me, the way he had done so many times previously, when unexpectedly I felt somebody tap my shoulder. I jumped in surprise and stifled a cry.

I was about to snap heatedly, but turning around, I met with Zack's kind eyes. He smiled and I felt myself smiling too, which was a relieving change to what just went on. From the corner of my eye, I saw Dewey tagging behind, looking for Ned; Katie was there too, and Freddy was quick to bombard her with his presence. I waved to them half-heartedly. But I was glad they didn't have to see, what just went on.

"Summer, what's up?" Zack asked in concern, probably seeing the emotions on my face. He put on his navy blue graduation robe, and for a moment I thought he looked very sweet. With his surfer hair, not as messed as it usually was, and an even brighter smile on his face. He held the hat with the other hand and placed the other on my shoulder comfortingly. I looked up from his hand to his caring face.

"Well, uh-" I began, but was cut off by Dewey skipping over with the rest of the band – bodyguards, and groupies included. I sighed as they crowded around and Zack let go off me, moving so he would stand next to me to join the circle. My sentence lay unfinished for the while.

"I can't believe you're all going to college now!" Dewey roared huskily over our noisy chatter, "It was like only yesterday that you were like ten years old, man!" He high-fived a few of the guys and ruffled my hair. I laughed, feeling the down-feel subside and looked around at everyone. We all looked so different yet still the same, we had never really changed personality either, and we still all pursued the same dreams.

Taller, smarter? Just almost no different at all.

I caught Freddy's eye again, but tore away when Zack suddenly held my hand. It was warm and it felt so nice, soon I found myself leaning against him, letting my troubles rest on him, and yet somehow wishing that it were Freddy instead. I felt guilty and saw Katie hug him, he looked overjoyed. Just as Zack looked at me in the same way.

We may be falling apart, but were still the same old gang.

The same old School Of Rock Band.

* * *

_A/N :_ There we go, the new (and may I say, a little too short) chapter. It took me some time to write, scribble or whatnot, so please tell tell tell me what you think of this story so far. I tried, and am still trying to make this story good. My first School Of Rock fanfic too eh? I watched the movie and I thought I loved this pairing, since I have a thing for hate to love kinda things - because, come on! There's good drama! Haa. I thought I'd give it more of a twist my having Freddy by heads over heels with our dear bassist, Katie. You know, so theres some time and love.

Of course Zack likes Summer, but thats all to come the next few chapters. Anyways, sorry for any typos or any other stuff.

So any reviews will be welcome. Was it good? Crap? Totally crazy? Whatever just please, say something to make my little day light up! Thanks to those who already reviewed and/or put this on their Alerts... tennisplayerx33, breeza13, LoserLove, and me (no, not me, the anonymous reviewer. haaha) Thanks a lot guys! You make me smile. Thats a drill. Read and review, ohh please! Love from moi?

-Fallen11angel


	3. Moving Into Empty Rooms

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Two_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

I crashed noisily onto the floor of mine and Zack's dorm room, which had proved to be hard to get to, I mean with all the hundreds – no… millions of stairs I had to climb just to get up here, especially with also a tonne of stuff in boxes for me. Well, and Katie, of course who I would help even if she took joy in watching me be tortured. I was forced to leave the drum kit downstairs in the car – as much space as it took – since I couldn't even bare to imagine me carrying up those demon steps. Because they are just so… demonic.

Haha. I thought that one was so clever; I even took the liberty of telling Zack on the way up. He didn't find it quite as funny as I did, so he just sighed deeply and walked up the "demon stairs" with much faster speed than I could ever put in. Ever.

Well, not in the sense that they were actually alive, and had fangs to bite my legs and such like that or any other badly directed horror movie, but they were just evil. The evilest of all things you have to climb! Why would anyone create these many steps just to relax in a room, and how would they even live to finish building it. If you understand any of that? I guess maybe not.

Sigh. Maybe I should just stick to the music instead of the philosophy – that was Summer's thing anyway. It's not like I miss her, it's just that her annoying presence seems to have printed itself onto my brain. Stuck there forever to torment me. And it even seems like the other two, namely Katie and Zack, won't stop moping around saying that they miss the thing. _Thing_. It's something I will not ever live to understand. Ever. I say that a lot, dude. Better move on…

I gained enough energy to pick myself up off the floor, pushing all belongings of me, and crawling over to the bed. I panted heavily still trying to regain my breath as I plonked myself in between Zack and Katie, who were currently using the bed as some sort of sofa for themselves. Katie rolled her eyes at me and jumped up -just as I tried to lay my head on her shoulder - proving to have lost no energy at all when I had to carry all her damn stuff – and with no credit! Without taking a second look back, she kicked her box out the room and probably went to check out her own dorm room. The door swung halfway closed without the box to hold it backwards.

There was a series of shuffling noise in the distance, a few more kicks before a slam of a door echoed from a ways down the hall and there was nothing but silence in our room. It was irritating.

"Did we have any choice in our room?" I asked Zack once I thought he was sleeping. My voice was loud, trying to invade the space in which there was no sound.

Zack opened an eye, observing the room and his surroundings; after a while he got up to sit on the other bed on the oppostie side of the room – possibly claiming it his own. He walked zombie-like to the other side of the room, kicking off his old Chucks into the corner of the room with a faint "thump" and then he threw his sweater onto his bed before he decided to answer me.

"No, they just gave it to us… but hey! Guess we don't have to worry about exercise every now and then…" He trailed of, turning his back to me as he lifted his box onto his bed starting taking random objects out of it. Digging through it and, every once and again he would take something out and place it somewhere near him in the room... the table... the cabinet.

I tried to reach my own box with my foot, skilfully trying to do it without moving any other muscle that existed in my body. I failed miserably, I sighed, and I heard Zack do the same simultaneously. We sighed.

"A little help!" I demanded, trying to act superior, when he finally turned around and caught me fighting with my leg and the large, open box.

Rolling his eyes, he walked over slowly, with his hands deep in his pockets, fumbling around with the looks of it. He came over to me absentmindedly, kicking my box weakly before deciding to picking it up and throw it onto my stomach. I gasped for air and space, feeling the fat box take the wind out of me until I finally pushed the God damn thing off me, making such a loud racket as it smash onto the floor. The badly taped side exploded, scattering all of my clothes onto the floor of the room. I made a face.

But Zack barely flinched, he stared at the ceiling instead. As if it were the most interesting in the world. He was so tall, he barely needed to jump to reach it with his fingers.

"What the hell was that for-" I shouted, except was obviously unheard. My breath had yet again, gone to waste. So I merely just rubbed my stomach hoping it wouldn't bruise sooner or later.

"How do you think Summer is doing? You think she's okay?" He asked, dazed - he didn't look like he was going to appreciate my opinion anyway. I had told him that he was after the wrong girl so many times. And still? He doesn't listen I looked at him with an expression of vile and disgust before he spoke again at my lack of verbal response. Why couldn't he be normal? And like Normal Girls...

"You think it's okay to call? Or would that be weird?" He finally turned to look at me just as I propped myself more comfortably onto the sheet-less bed, erasing some of the look of my features in case it would wound his ego/feelings. I crossed my arms behind my head.

"Dude, do whatever the hell you want…" I murmured so quietly that I thought he wouldn't hear me. I shrugged, gesturing my lack of care for the situation. Except he just nodded shortly, and stumbled back to his bed. He flipped open his cell phone, and dialled the number he knew off by heart, placing the phone to his ear.

The silence ensued. Burning my ears.

He lay down on the bed, his feet almost hanging of the edge, trying to make himself comfortable. He was obviously preparing himself for a long talk. Ergh?

"Hello?" Zack said nervously and I shot him a quick peek. My eyebrow cocking up, but then I put it down again just in time to see him pass me the same look.

"Hi, Summer. Yeah, it's m-me Zack… just checking to see how you were?" He continued in a robotic tone, as if he were talking into her answer machine. There was a buzzing on the line as if someone was talking back to him. I rolled my eyes and threw away the idea that this conversation was going to end quickly.

I heard Katie's loud laugh down the hall, but too lazy to go anywhere, I stayed glued to my position. But why was she laughing like that? She never laughed like that with me? Who the hell was she talking to then? So, I shut my eyes, and everything I heard was now hazy hum. Just quiet sounds in the background to my surroundings, like a radio turned to a low volume.

"That's good! We just got in too. So are you staying in the dorms there?" Zack's voice was the most prominent of all the other sounds, maybe because he was the closest, and the most over-overexcited. Katie was murmuring something in the hall to someone. Their voices were deeper than a girl's, and they laughed altogether. I heard my drum sticks clatter as I turned sideways on the bed, turning away from the voices, trying to pry for some peace. It was about a good time for a nap.

"Oh a flat, huh? That sounds cool… Maybe I'll come over when the next vacation comes up? Or whenever you feel…"

The door creaked open loudly, I knew because I felt the light from the landing reflect onto the walls and onto my eyelids. Zack "shhh- ed" as someone came in and they whispered quietly for a few moments. I recognized the voices soon enough, but was too sleepy to mental take it into my brain.

"Sorry Summer hold on a sec." Zack said, almost annoyed that someone had interrupted his precious phone call. I heard Katie walk into the room a little more, her shoes tapping against the floor boards.

"Hey Zack, I'm so sorry! But I'll be back before sleepyhead wakes up. I'm just going to look around with my roommate." She stage whispered.

"Yeah yeah, go ahead. We'll be okay!" Zack said impatiently towards her, barely begging her to leave so he could get back to the conversation.

"Thanks, and oh! Is that Summer on the line? Tell her that said Hi, and that I love and miss her so much." Katie said quickly, also rushing to leave. There was a deep voice, from behind Katie asking her to hurry, she giggled at something before the door creaked and slammed shut. The light was gone, and I was left in darkness. With the right temperature and lack of light, I felt the fatigue seduce me to sleep.

I groaned at all the noise previously, and slipped into the subconscious. Not caring about Katie, Zack... or most of all. Summer.

* * *

_**Summer**_

I waited impatiently for the familiar voice to come back to me on the phone, I longed for the voice that made me smile. My grabbed my handbag with my free hand, and skimmed through it aimlessly - I found an old chapstick and a few scraps of paper. I hesitated before chucking the objects stuffed in my hand towards the area of my "empty" kitchen. It rebounded off one of the counters and slid onto the lid of the trash can.

"Oh Hi, I love you and miss you!" Zack said enthusiastically, his voice reappearing on the line. I jumped as the voice suddenly broke the deafening silence around me. I had no idea what to say to his words, my dazed eyes circled the room. Absent with any furniture. I sunk deeper in the comfort of the overturned sofa which I brought in my car with me today. It was placed dead center of the supposed living room, so I could clearly see into all the spaces around me. My mind was still blank, I was shocked by the sudden sort of confrontation and still found no way to answer; I fumbled more with the contents of my bag thinking to myself.

_Think think think! _I yelled inwardly.

Zack laughed, that wonderful laugh. The laugh that made me feel home, welcomed... like he was the my very own sunshine. I smiled widely and suddenly the sun's ray floated through the open window, dancing in the room and chasing shadows away. The creases on my forehead relaxed, "That was from Katie by the way, but I miss you too Sum." He added cautiously. As if prodding to check my reaction before all else.

I laughed along with him this time and sighed deeply, looking around the empty room again and missing all of their company more than they possibly knew. I wanted to hug them all and wished that somehow we could all be together. But even still we were all different, separated. They had different dreams and aspirations to me... different skills and personalities. And that was what made me end up here, and them, there.

"Zack, you know I miss you like crazy!" I responded cheerfully, catching his infectious ray of optimism, and chuckled again when I heard the familiar hum that meant he was happy and blushing in the background. The way he always did when someone made him luxuriously happy.

"So... er... does that mean I can visit you soon?" He prodded more, excited. I could almost picture his face, smiling sheepishly as he usually did.

"Sure, whenever you can. Whatever weekend just drive down and I'll be here." I smiled into the phone, as if to touch him somehow. Using my fingertips to hold his own and tell him that I would be fine. Here. Alone in my apartment. My smile weakened and for a moment, I was glad he didn't see me like this.

"Awesome." He cried, anxiously and cheerful as always, "I'll be there sooner than you think then! Look, Sum I'll call you later. I'm going to use this only chance to unpack while McGee's sleeping like a baby!" He laughed his infectious laugh, almost snorting funnily like a total goofball.

"Hmm. Rare." I managed to breathe out. Trying to see what it was to be with them at this moment. Freddy sleeping, haha. Wouldn't that be a sight!

"Yeah, so I'll see you." He confirmed again. Stating more than questioning. There was a shuffling noise in the distance, as if Zack had already begun to unpack at the very moment he suggested it. He was always one to get a job done.

"Okay. Bye." I said briefly. Not wanting to get my emotions out and get blubby to him on the phone. He would come visit soon. They would come soon. I was sure of it. I was about to press the "end" button on my cell when I heard his quiet voice still on the line. Murmuring, as it seems.

"Hey, Tink…"

"Zack?" I asked, wondering why his tone changed so suddenly. I tried to bring out empathy but I was confused.

"You know I love you too, more than Katie does. Ever." He suddenly said, his voice soundin more nervous and shy than it usually did. He was serious this time, I was sure of it but my defensive motions kicked in. It was a joke? Right?

"And I love you too…" I whispered, as if afraid it wasn't the truth. It was so quiet, I thought he wouldn't hear it at all. But he got it, the sound of shuffling stopped in the background. He was still. As was I...

"More than Katie?" He asked, crossing my line a little bit more. I felt uncomfortable.

"Of course." I joked, though his tone was more than serious. I edged away from it.

"More than Freddy?" His voice broke. And I fought away a gasp. That one got me. It made my heart stop beating for a brief second.

"Um, yeah." I lied, "More than Freddy." I whispered, afraid that my own voice would give way.

"Good." He murmured back, almost smug.

"Er, yeah tell him that I miss him too." I added, trying to be brave about it. But frightened to hurt Zack's feeling somehow.

"Bye." He cheered rapidly. The line broke off and Zack's voice was replaced by a long beeping noise. The high pitched, static-like sound saddened me. He was gone, and I was alone. Again.

"Bye." I murmured, five minutes too late. I half expected somebody to answer but of course nobody did. I placed the phone down silently onto the seat beside me and stood up silently, walking over to my empty bedroom to fix some of my belongings too. I threw my bag onto the inside of the room, shoving the door forcefully behind me. Listening out for the click that may make my emptiness subside.

* * *

_A/N :_ Here here, that. I repeat. That is chapter two! Yay! Anyways, I figured most people don't like authors notes... so I'll keep it brief. Like this...

I apologize for the delay and my rusty writing skills. Of course I've got a way to make Freddy end up in Summer's school! Haha..

All reviews welcome. Love it? Hate it? Want more? Please, say something to critic me! Thanks to those who already reviewed and/or put this on their Alerts/ Favorites... tennisplayerx33, breeza13, LoserLove, and livi. Thanks a lot! You make me beam. Thats a drill, know it. Read and review, ohh please!

-Fallen11angel


	4. I Don't See You, You Don't See Me

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Three_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

I sunk deeper into my chair. Sulking as I propped my arm up on the windowsill of the car passenger seat and stared brooding out at the blurry scenes outside the window. I placed my large headphones over my ears and started drumming along to the beat of the songs on my knees with my trusty drumsticks. I continued ignoring the other two I supposedly call my "friends" because I had no idea why they wanted to this to themselves, and mostly why they wanted to do this to me! They were crazy and dumb, like I always say.

Yeah I am annoyed - all because it started this morning…

Of course, Zack called Summer again for the millionth time - and somehow in the midst of their daily hour-long conversation, he asked if she wanted to meet up in some diner which "happened" to be halfway between both our school and hers. I'm pretty much guessing it was one of his awkward spur of the moment things, since he was willing to ditch the random gig the three of us had planned to do at the bar down the street tonight – and for what? To see Tink, you have got to be kidding me. I'm also sure that the diner there wasn't just a coincidence – the poor dude probably researched it or some crap like that.

What a loser?

He was talking all trash about how he missed her, and how he missed the times when the gang was all together – he sounded like a soppy movie… or worse. You can guess, Katie heard about it and wanted to go too. And so since the universities have a week's vacation before the end of the semester exams, they happened to just willingly hop into the car and go for a drive that would take hours long. Well, hey I didn't want to be alone for a day or two. Therefore I'm here too, trapped in the car with the two losers who have currently been talking about that _girl_ for more than an hour or so now…

I turned up my music an extra notch to block them out, even if it meant that I couldn't hear Katie's voice to keep me chilled – there's a first for everything after all.

I got a little overexcited at a Travis Barker drum solo that came next and ended up smacking my knee hard against the dashboard of the car. I pulled off the headphones and cursed aloud as I rubbed my knee through my jeans, furrowing my eyebrows in aggravation. It added to my annoyance, when I saw Katie's attention pull away from trying to nurse me better somehow to Zack, as he turned into a dirt road that led to a parking lot. I felt the ground move from smooth tarmac to bumpy gravel.

"Damn…" I mumbled.

"We're here!" Katie and Zack chorused cheerfully, finishing my sentence. They beamed at each other in mutual excitement as Zack took out the keys of the car and shut the engine. After a few seconds the roar of the machine died down and revealed the background noise of classic rock music and talk from inside the diner.

Before I knew it, Katie was already out and running past my car door towards the front of the tacky looking restaurant. Zack was quick to follow; he jumped out and shut the door forcefully behind him, possibly underestimating what damage it would do to the car. He reached Katie on the stairs and he opened the screen door for her before they both ran inside – forgetting me, possibly?

I felt a nerve burst, and inwardly decided that I would refuse to get out of this car and see her. I crossed my arms over my chest and if achievable, sunk yet further still into my seat in the hopes of blending into it and being invisible. Not like I wasn't already.

I let out a restrained grumble as I opened my eyes again and realized that I was still parked in front of the vibrantly coloured diner – with its neon road sign and its 70's dressed waitresses running around inside. I wanted to leave now. My eyes darted over to the scene behind the diner and saw a medium sized fair where a good amount of people were gathered. I almost smiled as I watched the people queuing for rides and playing at stalls for cheesy toy prizes. I heard the laughter and faint distant screams of passengers of the rides.

I remembered once when I won Katie a purple bear at a fair that stopped by in the 8th grade. She liked it a lot, and it made me smile to see the impressed look on her face that I managed to score a few basketballs into the hoops. I'd never known I'd be good at it - but I guess now we do.

When I fell out of the daydream of a memory, my mind wandered to Katie again. My eyes instinctively found her through the window of the diner and followed as she walked down the aisle with a huge smile on her face. A smile that resembled the one of that she had when I gave her that bear. She recognised someone and broke into a half jog, her hair trailed in straight lines behind her. I looked over just in time to see Summer stand up from her seat and hug Katie in excitement.

They laughed a while, and I wondered again why Katie had never really laughed like that with me, even when I tried to tell her something funny. Ever since we moved to university I've tried harder still, but she laughs with Summer and with other guys, her roomate – but never with me. Not like that. My lips became a straight unmoving line.

Speaking of which, I tried to put my finger on something different about Summer but I couldn't really tell. I leaned forwards to the edge of the seat, and clasped onto the dashboard for support, as I narrowed my eyes to slits at the scene in front of me through the translucent windows.

Katie said something inaudible to me, and Summer laughed in response, making me regret not being there and missing whatever she just had to say. I found myself thinking that her smile… almost looked a lot like Katie's - when I saw her for the first time and realized that she was the girl I had wanted all along. Wait... what? My mouth gaped open in horror, and I restrained immensely from smashing my head onto the dashboard to hurt myself - badly. What was I just thinking? No freaking way…

Katie was Katie, and no one would be alike to her. Changing my mood back into bitterness. Summer had nothing on her! Sure they both had the long, brown hair and the smiles, and the shimmering eyes… Man, being alone was taking its toll on me. Like I said before, I cared nothing for Summer.

That's the difference they both had, it was that I loved Katie Brown and… that I hated Summer Hathaway.

I didn't know why, but I did.

She stole everyone that I cared about, without even trying. She makes me have to try and be seen when I can't be seen anymore. That's the way it is, and I hated it.

We were from two different worlds. I don't see her anyway, and she doesn't see me either.

* * *

_**Summer**_

I pulled away from Katie's second embrace and found myself loosing that long lonely feeling that I've had for the past few months. It just drained away with my laughter as Katie tried to bombard me with rambling sentences on how she missed me so much. Her hands were clasped onto my upper arms tightly, as if scared to let me go and it made me smile more. I missed this feeling.

I felt my eyes expand when I saw another figure I felt that I've missed dearly. My mouth stretched into a wider grin as I noticed Zack half-hiding behind Katie in his usual shy manner. It was so like him to give way to other people before putting himself first. I noticed Katie recall that he was there too, and she leapt back, whilst pushing him towards me in the process. She flicked her long, straight coffee coloured hair and smirked as she slid into a nearby seat, immediately beginning to eye up a potential good looking guy on a close table.

"Hey Zack!" I managed to utter, before being pulled into a tight hug. He was taller than I last remembered; it was like he towered over me now as I tried to wrap my arms around his slender neck, so I tiptoed to make it a little easier.

"Summer, I've missed you so much!" He replied whilst breathing into my hair, refusing to let me go so quickly, and I admitted that for the first in a long time – I felt warm again.

"We call each other every day!" I stated in a matter-of-fact sort of manner, trying to make a joke to lighten his deep thought mood.

"But it's not the same as being with you like this."

I felt a little taken aback though I had been so used to these kinds of comments from him, but also instantly felt the lack of butterflies in my stomach. My smile half subsided as time slowed down to seconds becoming hours. My stupid mind began lingering to the one person I knew I missed more than I missed these two put together - which really was _stupid_ because he wasn't here. And because I knew he didn't see me like the way I saw him… _ironic? _And stupid.

As Zack suddenly shocked me back into a fall into reality by pulling away and holding me at an arm's length like Katie had done previously, I knew he was staring at my face. I tried to hide whatever was currently on it, with a weak smile that I felt I could conjure. I found my own gaze travelling to the front door as I heard the bell above it twinkle and I attempted to peer around Zack without seeming too rude.

My eyebrows cocked up, in both curiosity and amazement as I saw him enter the through the glass door, like my stupid wishes had finally been granted. Was the word stupid beginning to sound weird? I suddenly felt that butterfly feeling I had been hoping to experience, but it came alongside a sense of guilt.

Here I was with more than I deserved, and I still wanted more. I thought myself of selfish, and couldn't help but jut out my lips slightly in annoyance with myself, forgetting about the smile that brightened my features.

That aside, was it just me or did time really slow down for this one moment? Was that how the universe really worked?

I observed Freddy as he stopped to look around the diner in his unimpressed typical way, it was like time itself had left him unscathed, because he hadn't changed one bit.

He brushed a confident hand through his tousled hair, which still looked good even when left messy, before he occupied himself by placing a hand in each pocket of his jeans – one of which was taken by a pair of drumsticks. He stood tall, but not taller than Zack, and his body was hunching forward a little which meant he was brooding over something.

I tore my eyes away from his stature and met Zack's gaze finally. He smiled shyly as I did so, and time seemed to regularize itself again for his sake. He slid into the seat opposite Katie and leaving me standing in the middle of the busy aisle in Freddy's full view. His face was emotionless, but his stare was on me nevertheless – in thought. I didn't want to know about what.

He obviously saw me standing there, not knowing what to do, so before I tore my shirt by pulling at a loose seam to try and distract myself. I avoided eye contact and turned away from him, prior to taking the seat beside Katie. Keeping my hair down, and knowing that my hair covered most of my face, so I could hide a little.

As soon as I sat down, thankfully, Katie was set off into talking about her university experience so far – about her roommate, the studying and everything about it. She grabbed my right wrist with both her hands as she spoke, almost like she was afraid I would leave if she didn't have me strapped down. I listened intently, and propped my chin onto the palm of my free hand and quickly lost awareness of my surroundings.

That was, until Freddy Jones suddenly reappeared into my view and as if to torture me, sat in the only vacant seat – opposite me. Katie carried on talking, and I listened, but now I had a distraction. My eyes kept darting from his face to the table and back again. I straightened up expecting a greeting or an acknowledgement of presence at the least, but Freddy merely slumped into his seat and didn't even look in my personal direction.

_It's like he doesn't even see me…_

I bit my lip, and realized that even after months of being away from each other. Everything was going to be the same. I was so close to kicking him underneath the table just to get a glance and a little bit of attention from that tiny brain of his.

This is what I meant by selfish – I already had Zack and Katie's attention. But the one person that didn't see me at all, was the person who I wanted to see me the most. And I wanted it badly, I even wished for it a few times whilst driving here. To him I was mostly invisible, but I saw him everywhere. Did that sound creepy?

I sat back into my seat a little too forcefully and felt my hair ripple over my shoulders in the swift movement. I kept my hands invisible from my company and clenched them tightly by my sides, as I blinked for a long moment. I wished one last time that he was would just see me for a moment, even if it was just for today… I knew I sounded sad, but my heart couldn't take having year's worth of feelings come crashing down again and getting nothing in return.

"Uh, Tink? Are you alright?" I recognised the voice, though my eyes were shut tight. I opened them instantly in quick disbelief, and saw Freddy leaning over the table, staring at me curiously. It was deep and meaningful, something I never expected to hear from Freddy's mouth directed towards me. I felt even more guilty, because now the universe was giving me my wish, and I didn't know what to do with it exactly.

I felt myself fluster before I could give a decent answer, "Oh yeah. I was just… happy to see you guys." _Happy to finally see you? _I thought to myself.

I saw Zack smile to himself, possibly a little proud of setting this trip up for the four of us, feeling that pride of doing something remotely awesome for us. Katie stopped talking for a minute upon hearing what I had just said, and her smile matched Zack's. Sometimes I felt like she acted more of a big sister to me than anything else, with her knowing way. The way she just happened to know how my mind worked and what I was thinking, or what I needed.

I watched for Freddy's reaction, but he just nodded, a little blank faced and sat back into his seat just as I leant forward a little – still leaving a space between us.

The waitress came over, just before our moment of mutual silence could continue. Freddy and Katie ordered a beer each, whilst Zack and I ordered coffees, aware of having to drive our separate ways later that night. Hours worth coming here?

"Cheers!" Zack said in a positive mood once the drinks came a few minutes later, "Let's enjoy this while it lasts!"

He lifted up his mug to the centre of the table and the first to join was Katie, of course, and I heard the clinking of their glasses. I laughed half minded, and lifted my mug into the midair.

"Cheers." I repeated and toasted to the other glasses.

"Hey Freddy! Look there's a fair over there!" Katie chimed, interjecting the moment again, whilst putting down her already empty beer bottle and pointing a slim finger out the window towards the general area. It was beginning to get a little darker, and as the dusk grew closer, the fair slowly began to turn on their bright lights and loud cheesy music. It looked like plenty of people were attracted to it. Apparently, most of the daylight was spent actually driving over to this place than I thought...

Freddy chugged down the rest of his drink, all the while, for some reason keeping his gaze on me. I pretended not to notice and instead, looked down at the swirling foam in my steamy mug. He wiped his thumb across his bottom lip to remove any traces of his drink, and still wouldn't stop looking at me. I was beginning to feel nervous.

"What do you say guys? One last night together when we can all have a good time?" Zack added, probing us all though it didn't take that much convincing.

"Yeah! I'm in!" Katie responded, punching her fist into the air and then nudging me to join. But I found myself looking around for a third opinion once again before I felt ready to decide on my own.

"Come on, Tink. What do you say?" Freddy mumbled, shrugging carelessly, "I bet you didn't know that I'm pretty good at shooting some hoops."

* * *

_A/N : _Sorry for the absence guys! I've got so many GCSE exams coming up it's so difficult to fit time in between studying. But hopefully this chapter can suffice for now. By the way, just a little spoiler - or not? There is a part 2 to this chapter, where they kinda do hang out at a fair for a little while. So it doesn't just end here. I do promise more action between Freddy and Summer, but I can't just dive into it... So yeah. & I'm also working on transitions because I know that kinda sucks. Be patient! I'll update when I next can.

Thank you to all who have reviewed, alerted, favorited. This is for you guys, and specially; Corona And Lime, and rrainyddaze. Thanks for those reviews. XD

-fallen11angel


	5. I Think I Do

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Four_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

I felt my head spin a little when I looked up and met with the bright lights of the fair - without sounding either crazy or a total dork, I felt my pupils constrict to the intensity of several glowing signs. Or whatever, I just narrowed my eyes.

I swaggered a little in my step and felt myself lean on Zack for some support, who unknowingly thought I was joining in the group hug with the three of them and pulled me in to endure a few good minutes of torture. Wow, the slight drunkenness was making me slur and speak for long and longer sentences at a time, right? Well, with the large amounts of neon and loud voices everything was beginning to look a little bit more exaggerated now that the few bottles of beer I've had where settling into an empty stomach.

I looked around our circle, as Zack placed his long arms around all of us and shoving me in between Summer and Katie. I smiled a little as I heard Summer's almost inaudible giggle in my ear, but on the other side Katie's louder drunken howl. They were both so different, not like I hadn't made the establishment before.

"I'm so happy the gang is together." Zack murmured into our embrace, getting into the moment. He was such a cheesy bastard, oh man! He even went the extra step and shut his eyes as he laid his head to rest on top of mine, as it was central to the hug-fest and even though I tried desperately to free myself - I couldn't budge off a tall guy, a drunken girl and a dork.

Katie laughed again even louder and screamed in agreement, whilst shocking me nearly out of my own skin, "Oh yeah!" She attempted to punch the air in her excitement, but somehow missed completely and gave me an upwards strike in the chin instead. Come on! How could you miss the _air_?

She didn't notice at all as she ran off, still chuckling at herself stridently, and our embrace soon dispersed. Zack followed Katie into the crowd, his strides so wide he caught up quickly, as I felt myself slump onto the cold grass on my knees without anymore support to hold me upright – and so I could comfort my bruised chin.

I fought back the urge to call her rude names, and rubbed at the ache with my drummer- calloused hands, rough but soothing nonetheless. I swear that punch was so damn hard; it knocked me back to being completely sober…

"Uh, Freddy?" I felt someone kneel down beside me at a distance and her soft voice was one I associated with many hateful feelings, "Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly, and I stared right at her caring eyes before shrugging her off in my typical way. I stared right through her like I couldn't care less, which was true. I thought.

"I'm fine, it's no big deal." I almost spat out bitterly, but flinched as she edged forwards too quickly for me to respond in jumping back, and I felt her cool slender fingers touch my jaw – lifting it slightly to check the bruise she noticed I received… the only person who noticed me at all. Something inside me fluttered, but more like drunken vomit than what you would call "love." The sober was wearing off and the rest was flooding back to me.

She giggled in her shy kind of way, half-smiling to herself as she let go of my face and stood up to tower above me. I felt stupid sitting on the floor like this, so I rubbed my bruise one more time and followed her in getting up. I was a little over a head's height above her now, and I stood so close behind her I thought myself of disobeying my love for Katie a little, even if I didn't mean to… I don't know why? What was I thinking?

"What's so funny?" My voice was a little rude and annoyed despite the calm composure I felt inside. It was just so natural to speak to her in that manner; it was difficult to break a habit.

"Oh nothing. I just thought it looked a little funny when Katie punched you right in the face." She replied, unaffected by my tone and obviously used to it by now, before laughing again because of possibly replaying the image in her mind. She put her hand over her mouth trying not to be rude about mocking me, rather than the usual routine of it being the other way around.

"That's not funny! I didn't even think anyone noticed that!" I yelled trying to defend myself and throwing my arms up in the air. She turned away from me and laughed a little harder, clutching her stomach. I chuckled a little too, as if her contained laughter was contagious but shocked in a way that ever caused me to believe I'd never thought I'd be in a situation like this – having fun with Summer Hathaway.

I tried to defend myself still as I walked around to her front to face her, but stopped midway as I was suddenly brought down to earth for a split second. Summer stopped laughing at the first moment of silence and looked up at me with wide curious eyes. I noticed for the first time, they were deep, chocolate brown… before I snapped away and my own eyes darted around amongst the crowds of strangers as I searched for two familiar ones, but I failed.

"Uh, where are Zack and Katie?" I asked, confused. I saw from the corner of my eye, her movement that mirrored mine a second ago, head moving around and searching the crowds.

"I don't know…" She said, a little worriedly and all traces of our previous laughter were gone, "Are we lost?" She added, and I watched her look nervously around at the mob of unknown people that surrounded us at every turn. It made me chuckled briefly and inwardly at how quickly she had got herself worked up, but why was I laughing like this. I should be mocking! Insulting her…

I held her at her elbow with one of my hands and pulled her as close as my personal self allowed - which was a few inches away from me. So that I felt her warm breath on the cloth of my grey "Rock Band" t-shirt, her head was down and I couldn't see the expression on her face anymore as her hair curtained it from me.

"Hey, we're not lost." I stated, almost kicking myself in the ass for trying to chill her out rather than work her up more. I sighed when she still avoided my gaze, so I pulled her a little to a sort of south- east direction and pointing out my finger. Why was I doing this? Feeling the need to comfort her, when I was taught by myself to do better!

"See there, that's where the diner's car park is, so we can just meet up with the two of them later okay?" I waited for her to look up to where I was pointing out and nod once in understanding, "And besides that's what cell phones are for right?" I supplemented in a reassuring tone.

"Oh yeah." She answered, stepping backwards so that my grasp on her arm fell from the distance in between us, "So what do we do now?" She decided to include after an inward battle for a moment.

I wasn't sure myself what the answer was, but one thing I knew, was when I woke up this morning, I was _not_ expecting to spend my night with Little Miss Hathaway.

"I guess we might as well enjoy ourselves, right?" I shrugged, attempting to make loose conversation and avoid all the awkwardness. I shoved my hands into my pockets and hunched a little to think to myself, I played with my lip, biting it, before I smiled crookedly and studied the array of different stalls of games and food. My eyes settled onto one in particular that struck a memory.

"Okay! Found something!" I half-yelled loudly over the noise of the busy crowd, "Come on Tink, follow me…" I didn't wait to see if she was in pursuit when I walked over to a frivolously lit game booth. But I haven't felt this need to impress since… well. We don't have to mention who.

* * *

_**Summer**_

I ran and pushed past the crowd to keep up with Freddy and as I finally reached a clearing, I was met with a beyond tacky basketball booth, but I couldn't stop myself quick enough and bumped right into his back. He was a bit startled as he surged forward and hit the wooden desk of the gentleman who owned the stall, yet he recovered quickly before turning towards me and pulled by the arm again to join him at the front of the desk.

What was up with him? It seems one second he's his usual uncaring, composed self and the next he acts like all these years… we were actually friends. And even though I wished for that so badly, I of all people knew he had spent those years taking a great dislike to me…

I surely can't blame his new-found "maturity" level to be because of college. Freddy Jones was just not like that – he didn't change for anyone.

I was still confused as he spoke something to the old man, and then leaned over to me across the desk with his hand outstretched. I look at his hand with so much uncertainty I think he could've laughed at me so hard. But he didn't, he just waited patiently, his eyes for once staring right at me, rather than through me. What was he trying to pull off here?

But I felt like I was looking at a stranger?

"Come on Tink, I need £2 dollars to play!" He begged from me forcedly, still holding out his hand and shocking me out of my daze. Upon sudden realization, my face became a restraint of annoyance.

As my eyes darted from the familiar face to the old man, I saw that he looked so happy to finally get some customers… or that's what it seemed anyway. I couldn't say no and began digging out my pockets for any spare ounces of change that I had perhaps put in my jean pockets at some point over the time today.

Nonetheless I felt my heart sank for that brief moment where I thought Freddy was a little different – but it turns out he cheated me again. I should have never trusted him so easily – again!

But thank goodness I wasn't fast enough to put my hand in his, in one moment of misunderstanding his gesture… Stupid Summer. That would have been both embarrassing and dumb to place yourself in a predicament such as that one. A typical romance movie scene with a twist of stupid Summer and uncaring Freddy… I sighed inwardly.

I blanked out and was staring coldly at the floor, as if to analyze each and every single piece of grass to focus my attention elsewhere, I barely noticed that enough time had waltzed past me, and that the money had already been taken out of my hand and used to pay the old man. Was my hand still outstretched or had it already dropped down once it was empty of the spare change.

Why was I here? I should be with my two friends… Zack and Katie, the two people who brought me here in the first place – I shouldn't be here with Freddy. Something swished from behind me and the faint sound of people cheering briefly caught my attention but I ceased to ignore it, my hair fluttered slightly in the breeze or the swift movement, either way it tickled my neck a little bit. I was in university now… surely I shouldn't still have feelings for him. Right?

Another few cheers ensued, as if a distant memory in the back of my mind – or where my thoughts just so loud in my head that I had disconnected myself from the reality. I turned to face where I last remembered standing, and shook my head to bring myself back.

Bring myself back? I sounded so dramatic. I wasn't like with anyone else but Freddy, with him everything could be easily blown out of proportion.

Immediately the noise became much louder, and I realized exactly where I was, except there were so many more people now, and all crowded around me and Freddy. Speaking of which, he turned to me beaming, as typically proud of his achievements and having the glory of people loving his showcase of talent… only that I've only rarely seen it at times when the band were still together and he was the drummer boy-star. That smile.

My eyes unexpectedly widened and I attempted a step away, though my feet were completely rooted to the ground.

"Did you see that Tink?" He said raising his voice slightly, even though the crowd had slowly scattered off in their own separate ways so there really was no need. He walked the few paces towards me as my head turned to the stall wondering exactly what I'd missed. I furrowed my brow and twisted back around to face him… he looked so excited.

I tried to link the scene before me, of the old booth, the basketball hoops and stray basketballs upon the grass floor… it seemed like a familiar scene from high school.

"Speechless, eh?" He laughed and wiped a hand by the back of his neck, almost acting shyly to his obvious enjoyment of success, "Come on. Here… I got this for, uh, yeah you." He began stuttering by the end of his sentence, and I felt my eyes widen further in sudden shock. What exactly was going on? Was I living in an alternate dimension where everything I wished for suddenly decided to be given to me? Or was I just thinking about this way too much?

"Me?" I managed to reply, as he took hold of my hand in his own warm one and placed a stuffed toy bear there for me to carry. He obviously tried to do it without coming off as aggressive or any way he would have previously treated me before.

Once the bear was secure in my two hands, he abruptly drew his hands away from mine and let them hide in his pockets as he stared off into the distance, trying not to care too much. But I smiled shyly as I noticed him trying to peek from the corner of his eyes.

My smile widened somewhat when I looked down to stare at the toy, and felt its soft material beneath my fingers. It was a pink teddy bear, just a simple one but I knew from that instant that it was already beginning to become something precious to me - just because it was from Freddy. I embraced it, as he turned back around to face me and the small smile that played on his lips did not go unnoticed from me.

"Thank you." I said briefly, afraid to loose or kill the moment in the likely way that I did. I didn't look up from the floor, almost afraid of what to expect next. It was just a toy, but when I embraced it, all of my feelings came back – despite the time I had spent trying to get them to leave me. Did I love Freddy anymore? I didn't want to.

"It's nothing," He replied after a still moment, "I thought you might like it. Girls like that kind of stuff right?" He continued, still issuing a vibe of casual talk and detaching himself from the act of finally being nice to me.

"I'll treasure it…" I whispered without thinking it over properly and looked up this time to see if he did anything drastic now. I really was pushing it this time, nothing would bloom between us. Nothing did before, so why would it now.

I hampered a gasp or the need to stare, when I was taken aback by his expression. Only for a split second I detected his façade before he twisted his head around so that I couldn't read it in time. He was blushing? Or was it a trick of my mind?

"Do whatever you want." He answered me again, cool and composed. My smile genuinely became brighter as I thought to myself.

His lips said he didn't care. But his eyes told me he did.

* * *

_**Freddy **_

"Here." I said, breaking the silence and almost snapping her from her thoughts as she looked up to greet me. She was leaning on the side of her car, shivering as I watched her eyes went back to stare blankly at the dewy grass floor and short breaths of warm steam escape her lips from the cold. I handed her a cup of coffee that I had just gone off to buy for her, before I stood beside her and leant on the side of the car too. After staring at her for a few seconds, I shook my head playfully waiting for her to take a few sips of her coffee before allowing myself to open my own beer bottle and chucking the bottle top off into the distance instead of in the trash.

"You're still holding that thing?" I asked, pointing to the toy bear she was still embracing with the one arm, inwardly happy that she liked it even though I still had no idea why. I took a large swig of alcohol to erase my thoughts, drinking down to the midway point of the bottle in one gulp.

She eventually looked up at me, and nodded, "Yeah I like it. And watch out on the beer, you've been drinking a lot since we got back to the car park." She sounded like a girl version of Zack, I wanted to laugh. Even my mom wouldn't say something like that to me, I wasn't even sure when I last spoke to my parents.

"I need it." I stated truthfully, because I did - to stop myself thinking about her rather than Katie, and who we were still waiting for with Zack to return. I didn't want to think about how cold she looked, and how I could apologize for all the things I've done wrong over the years, or how much I wanted to laugh again with her… so I drank more. A little bit more after that.

It was much quieter over here in the near empty car park, regardless of the still over-crowded fair that was a few metres away. The murmurs of loud conversations and laughter wavered over to where the two of us were standing, half hidden in the dark of the one distant lampshade. And although we had spent the entire night together, enjoying the attractions of the surprisingly crazy fair, now we were alone – it was so very awkward.

Her downed sigh, caused me to take another sudden gulp of alcohol before I allowed myself to glance in her direction. What was that for? That sigh…

Another urge overcame me and I needed to speak words to fill the empty space of silence that drifted us apart.

"You're freezing." I said instinctively, fighting back my feelings of guilt for breaking my own code of not trying to care. But somewhere inside I think I did.

"I'm fine." She retorted quickly and almost stubbornly, but I didn't buy it at all. I maintained my gaze, and didn't offer to step aside or let it go.

"Give me your keys," I told her instructively, and hold out my palm to her as she replied finally with a confused look, "Your car keys." I confirmed, to answer her without her having to ask me the question at all, and with a still puzzled look she shifted through her pocket. Pulling out a set of keys, I listened to them clinking as she placed them into my hand and I immediately walked over to her car, and opening it as if I had been able to do so several times before, as if it was a routine.

I opened the door to the back seats of the car and got inside in a gliding movement, "Come on, and get in." I called out to her, as she still stared at me unresponsively with her wide eyes, "You'll freeze out there and I promise not to bite." I joked, and scooted down to the other end, allowing the middle space to remain empty as she sat on the other end and shut the door.

I smirked at how right I was; indeed it was much warmer in here, however, to my distaste was also practically silent. To occupy myself, I leaned forwards over the driver seat and shoved in the keys before giving it a swift twist to start the engine, and instantly the heating flooded the car following the roar of the car returning back to life.

I leant back into my seat once I was sure it was warm enough, and began to feel a little drowsy as a consequence of drinking my thoughts away – practically speaking. As I slumped into my seat, I turned my head to face Summer, and she herself looked immersed in her own thoughts. Her face was half hidden in the shadow of the car and the other glowing from the the relfection of the lamp outside the window. I guess I was going to have to wait until the other two would get back a little longer.

Not that being with Tinkerbell was bad – well, it was freaking strange. So many emotions eating up my insides, begging to come out, and I wasn't even sure what they were because there were too many and they all contradicted extravagantly. It was an effort, that's all.

One night was all it took for me… for me to do what?

I wasn't sure.

"Hey Tink?" I whispered in the car, over the sound of the loud hot air rushing into the interior of the car with us. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say, or what I wanted to do, because I was beginning to feel too drunk to have control of my actions. Nonetheless, I didn't want to do anything I would regret later.

I could feel the alcohol spreading around in my blood stream and intoxicating me to the point of absolute delusion, was it Summer sitting so close to me? Or was it Katie? I wasn't sure anymore – of anything. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much, even though I really needed it. I wanted to drink it, even if was an excess. Who was I trying to convice?

It helped didn't it, or did it make this all worse?

"Freddy? Are you alright?" I heard her say, her voice ebbing with concern for me and I smiled to myself, liking the sound of someone caring enough for me. But why had I not been able to notice this before. Without a second thought, I had no self control to stop myself, I slowly closed the gap between the both of us, not really knowing what I was doing and laid my head on her lap. Cautious of her reaction, to my movement - would she push me away or let me do as I pleased, just I expected of her. I frowned upon that thought, again, what was I doing? This, was want I meant by something I would later forget...

Yet it was comfortable and soothing, though it was a forbidden thought in my mind; I shut my eyes even though I knew that I felt her tense at my sudden contact. Reopening my eyes unhurriedly, I looked up and reached for her hand and brought it over to cup my cheek, then holding it there with my hand. She still felt cold, but maybe the rush in my cheeks would help. The rush in my cheeks...

What was I doing? And how many times would I have to keep asking myself that before it really sunk in. It was like watching me from outside my own body, but I didn't want to stop myself.

A few seconds or maybe even long ticking minutes passed, she stopped tensing and eventually relaxed. She let me hold her hand to my face and kept it there, maybe she knew this wouldn't last or that I was too drunk to know. I shifted a little, to make myself more comfortable on her lap and before I could say exactly what I wanted to say… or what I had been planning to say.

I didn't because my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep, properly for what could have been the first in a long time. But maybe it wasn't Summer, it was the alcohol - even though it didn't work before... Maybe it was Summer.

I was definitely going to regret this.

* * *

_A/N : _Here we go, hopefully this should do. I hope you like the chapter and because exams are done, I shall have more free time to leisurely update! Yay!  
I'm sure you're think there was minimal action, but at least something is starting. Especially on Freddy's end... but thats all for now.

Thank you to all who supports this fanfic, specially; i am not a chipmunk and CattyGothLoli. Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

-fallen11angel


	6. First Time

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Five_

* * *

_**Summer**_

My half consciousness was disturbed by a sudden smack of a hand on the part of the window my forehead was pressed onto, where the icy touch had spread across my skin like fire and caused me a jump a little. Startled back into a distant reality of events, my eyes darted around the scene as my cold breath dispersed around me in lengths of steam and heavy breathing. The spiky goose bumps that had formed on my arms quickly retreated when I found the slump of 'dream boy' asleep on my lap and my heart began to pulse so violently in my chest – I so wished he couldn't feel it from where he lay unstirred.

When I dared to look back outside the car again, peering right up to the glass, I noticed the dreary morning dawn begin to appear, as the sky had turned a pleasant mixture of navy blue and streaks of faded orange in the horizon. What time was it? It was was one of those questions you knew inside, the answer to all along, but prayed to be wrong.

I screamed a little this time as the hand returned and smacked the car window another, this time accompanied by two familiar voices I had been absent from hearing all night. Katie's, of course, was the louder one, "Hey! Summer open up! It's freezing and we couldn't find you all night!" Her mumbled voice came from outside the car door and the other sounded like it was away from here a while.

Afraid to wake Freddy up from moving or speaking too loudly, I pulled at the car handle as gently as I could, waited for the fumbling click and shivered as a rush of cold winter air flooded from the tiny opening and into the rest of the car interior. Katie's face appeared in the gap and lit up with slight mockery and amusement at the scene I had become part of - before she could scream at me in laughter or otherwise, I clapped a hand onto her gaping mouth to keep her from embarrassing me.

"Shh!" I gestured aloud with a finger over my mouth, and added a begging, "Please!"

Hesitantly, I let my hand slide away from her mouth and was scared of the words that would escape it and ruin the moment… the strangely poetic movie scene… or just me over exaggerating again. In fact, in wasn't all that poetic, it was just Freddy doing things he would be too drunk to remember and that I would cherish for a long time. How saddening. I pictured for a moment, the final scene of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo lying on Juliet's lap as she wept over his absence - I knew I was beginning to loose it then. Too many books and movies imprinted in my memories for my own good.

"Look at you! Seems like someone benefitted from my leaving you two alone last night…" She said suggestively, waving her eyebrows in her teasing way towards me. She pointed over towards him and made a gesture of questionable kissing faces that took me a while to understand.

"Oh what? No!" I half screamed, but remembered I was trying to keep quiet and instantly restrained myself mid sentence, "No we didn't!" I continued in a embarrassed stage whisper, she was always so quick to assume. She should know by now the possibly of that happening was next to none!

"Oh." Katie muttered disappointedly, before moving away from her hunched position at the doorway and standing up straight to lean on the side of the car. The rays of light that were beginning to appear through the sky, blocked by Katie's position in front of me, were allowed to pass and began to feel warmer as they rested on my body and face. I felt like they had melted the icy position I had been costrained in sleeping in and I leaned back into my seat myself, shut my eyes for a while, listening to Katie's hushed voice as she spoke to me from outside. Apart from the sound of her voice, there were no other sounds but the distant rushes of passing traffic beyond the dirt road and on the interstate – the sounds of loud laughter and music had now disappeared and made me wonder how long we had spent our time in this place.

"I know you're trying to extend your dream moment in that seat with drummer boy, but father Zack is heading this way." Katie suddenly said after one of storytelling sentences, something about eating forcedly a tonne of food before running off to rides, with Zack worriedly at her heels. Without a another second of having let my eyes upon or letting me digest what she was about to do, she kicked my car forcefully with the back of her foot so that it shook – and as she planned, Freddy stirred and woke up. With that one second the dream woke up and seemed to shake and shatter around me.

My eyes widened in horror as I pictured in a million ways how this could go... but this one was not in the many scenarios I had imagined. Freddy rubbed his hair a little, yawned and likewise to me, took a moment to take account of his surroundings before doing anything else. I was positively sure that he wasn't aware of how tense I had got, that I was even afraid to breathe in case of too much movement, and Katie was peeked from where she was standing from time to time in both further amusement and curiosity of what was to happen next.

Instead of realization and the scene of Freddy freaking out, screaming and leaping out of my car like I originally thought he would, he merely crossed his arms over on my lap whilst turning onto his front and rested his chin on his wrist in a nonchalant way, just as Zack arrived and appeared in my doorway. In disbelief I tore my expression of wider eyes and gaping mouth from Freddy's uncaring approach to the situation to meet Zack's eyes.

"Uh, hey." He directed his greeting to me in a restrained way, before moving his gaze onto the seemingly sunbathing Freddy and tensing his jaw. I saw Zack's eyes grow colder for a moment and how he tried to shake it off, as he took hold of the top of the car door and straightened himself up. It was so easy to read him like a book whislt the other was like brick wall that could never get through.

* * *

_**Freddy**_

He had moved out of our view when we next heard him speak, and I thought he sounded a little pissed off, "Come on Freddy, and get out. It's time to go." I heard someone kick at the dirt outside and with a childish sigh; I gave Summer an awkward peer before I climbed out of the car to follow my 'master'. Trying not act bothered as I slid out of the car past Tink and that when I turned to steady myself from falling on top of her, our faces were millimetres away from touching - why had I not decided to take the longer, less difficult route of getting out the other doorway.

As I stood outside and let myself stretch a little, holding my arms over my head and into the sky's reach, I noticed the movement of Summer turning in her seat to face the outside and watch the three of us go. The silence was a signal of all the thoughts that were floating in everyone's minds right now - and I was glad not to know. This advanced into her standing and leaning on the side of the car as I began to walk after the two; with my hands shoved in my pockets and my shoulders in a shrugging position, unsure of what was going on, what had happened… just now… or how I felt last night. But I thought to not make a large deal out of it until I was alone. Like I had pretended not to care when I woke up when in fact the thoughts I thought slipped away from me last came crashing down to torture me as I turned around to act chill.

"What's up Zack? Why are you so pissed?" I called out ahead of me, not caring about the scene I would possibly be making or the things I could say to embarrass myself. Actually, I knew why he was pissed, we all did I'm sure. I mean, the guy had a fat crush on Tinkerbell _darling_, that it could be felt in earthquakes in the ground from miles away – or so to speak. I felt myself smirk a little, as I decided to dare peek behind to see what she herself was doing but was shocked to see she, for once, had her eyes looking at somebody else rather than me.

I continued walking, and took note in fascination of her leaning on the car in silence, staring worriedly at Zack, her hair framing her face and hanging past her shoulders, drifting slightly because of the light wind from time to time. I took in a lot for a peek, had I wanted to?

How could he be so pissed when nothing had happened? He was so stuck in third grade antics when falling asleep on somebody's lap was local news and an act of forbidden action.

I saw him reach the car and used the lines I knew would stop him in his tracks like a train wreck, I had nearly caught up as soon as the last word left my mouth and took note of his reaction.

"Aren't you even going to say goodbye to Summer?" I smiled a little to myself as Zack instantly turned around and observed her figure – possibly still where I had left her – and began to retreat in the direction he came, beaten by Katie (still a little dizzy as it appeared) who ran past him and threw herself in her startled, unprepared embrace. A trickle of jealousy spiked me as I thought of wrapping my arms around… but I stopped and merely got into the front seat of the car, shutting the door with a loud bang just I had done when I got here and waited aimlessly for the others to return. I heard the muffles of their goodbye's from where I was and wondered how it would have been if had taken part in them.

With finality, I was relieved when Zack joined me in the front and took his place in the driver's seat smiling to himself because of Tink and frosty towards me because of everything else. Katie had come in and sprawled herself in the back, taking advantage of having three seats to herself as Zack turned on the radio and slow girlish rock song seeped through the car speakers – I heard Katie sing along, knowing the song well and I rolled down my window before we could pass by the familiar spot to get out of the car park.

I crossed my arms on the windowsill and rested my head atop it, in a similarly way to what felt like a far away scene in a car, as I remembered in flickers of memory scenes from the night before. Had Tink ever been that pretty before, or had I just not scene with all the prettier girls I've had, or worse still, had I just not wanted to see…

She was different to me now, and what had changed that? Was it when she kneeled down in front of me, at the booth or when the lamp's light lit up her face and let me look at her for the first time? …The first time? So quick to change your mind when it comes to girls, only it never did once KAtie entered the picture - and that was forever.

I felt a little like I had known how she was feeling, and maybe a little too well, that I had been able to do things like that because I knew she could never possibly turn me away. I was guessing that may have been a bad thing…

Katie began to sing a little louder, more emotionally to the song as she began an air guitar movement in the back seat that caused Zack to laugh aloud, but for once I barely noticed her because the car passed by the other girl that took hold and when we had left the car park I forced myself to look back at her, leaning out of the car window like a dork and waving in a 'cool' manner I told myself before we turned for the interstate. I saw that Tinkerbell, look at me in shock, step forward a little and return my gesture without smiling - but I did.

What was this, or was Freddy Jones getting a little too friendly?

* * *

_A/N : _I will only say sorry for never updating and I should be kicked in the ass for it... and of all the times to update, it sparks the urge on this snowy day when school has been closed for the weather conditions. Thanks for your reviews/favorites/ etc. To CattyGothLoli, rrainyddaze, SillySaviiSmiles and the person with no name.

Who knows where this will go now?

-Fallen11angel


	7. Fist Fight And Girl Illusions

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Six_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

A little more than a few good weeks or so had gone by, and I was glad I'd got my head around that awful, awkward feeling that I thought I was beginning to really feel... whatever feeling that was. Maybe a comfort in a familiar face that I haven't seen for so long or otherwise. As I walked through the school hallway, which was half busy in the late minutes of the lunch break, I decidedly stared at the floor rather than at the clearing path ahead of me. I barely noticed the sound of rattling excitedly conversations of the group clusters I passed, that echoed dully in the white, narrow corridors leading to the music auditorium. Then in a typical gesture of mine, I pushed my hands into their semi- permanent position inside my jean pockets and thought of the little changes in my daily routine – or maybe some things that stayed the same too.

Like how Zack went back into his long afternoon phone calls with Tink, but talked to me a little bit less and was inclined into giving me a deep look every time her name came up in conversations, though I couldn't quite comprehend it. It wasn't angry, nor jealous just some kind of expression I wasn't sure I could put my finger on – but it wasn't like I had done anything wrong. I was sure of that.

I snorted to myself and shook my head lightly as I continued to walk, as I hated thinking about anything to do with that... girl. But which one? I'm sure it was clearly obvious. I thought I had told myself I was over that.

Fortunately, since we got back to routine, I started to notice Katie again like I used to, with her loud laughs and ability to act like the crazy, outgoing Katie I always saw from the longest time ago – after the band really got going and she became the girl that held me to a standstill even in the busiest of days.

Nevertheless she was spending so much time with other people now, but every time we did meet, either in the hallways, or when the three of us hung out in the dorms together for boxes of takeaway and endless episode runs, I found myself watching her. In her movements, the way her hair rippled and twirled around in just the right places – I saw she was beginning to be one of those girls that was aware of the male attention she received, but pretended not to notice in a false pretense sort of way. But I think I loved her more it, because like many things, I wanted somethings that were difficult to have.

My feet stopped short of walking when the very laugh I was thinking of surrounded the air around me and my heart, in a cliche way, skipped a few beats. It sounded so carefree, cute and was enough to give me a few shivers on the back of my neck – in a good way of course. My head shot up the instant it was associated with the face, and I caught a glimpse of her turning the corner ahead with her new guy friend that she had been spending most, scratch that, all of her time with. Had I seen a brief sight of the two holding hands or brushing fingertips that made my blood boil? I thought she told me, she would be going to the music store off campus to get something fixed with her bass, but I was guessing she was either lying or finished real quick. Instantly, I told myself it was the second.

"Hey, Katie!" I called out instinctively and outstretched a hand as I attempted to catch up with her. I must have looked stupid but I quickened my pace to follow her around the turn in the hallway. Hadn't she heard me, was she too taken with this guy that she couldn't recognize the sound of a best friend's voice anymore?

"Katie?" I asked inquisitively again as I took the first step around the corner, but I was cut short of my thought-up witty sentence, which I was sure to make her laugh, or myself at least. I dropped my hand to hang limp by my side after a second and for the first time ever, I think anyone in witness would have been surprised to see me give such a reaction I don't think I've ever let myself express before.

When I found out Dewey was actually not the Mr. Schneebly that he had introduced himself to us as, I did not feel shocked, but more of a smug thrill or silent amusement at the mess of the situation... when we got into the battle of the bands, or even were called for an encore on stage. Or when I took Katie out, after running away when we finished a gig, and I told her exactly how I felt, but she merely left me in the cold and with my feelings thrown back in my face - even then I didn't think gave a reaction until I was sure no one would ever see it or know about it.

My limp hanging hands suddenly became immediate clenched fists that I restrained behind my back as I caught Katie throwing herself at the guy who stole her from me. Before I did something I knew I would quickly regret, as I had done so many times before, I kept one hand hidden behind me as I forcefully let the other fist hold onto the wall beside me tightly for wanted support. I couldn't tear my prying eyes away from the scene as I watched Katie kiss him, her hands grabbing a handful of the collar of his shirt while he brushed a hand through her hair.

What made me flinch was the fact that they did look like they shared a feeling of somewhat... love for each other or whatever you would call it because they looked happy, and that was enough to hurt me inside. This felt like an over dramatic high school soap opera and I never knew I would be caught in the middle of one either. My eyes passed over the dark brown colour of her hair and almost for an unconscious instant I mistook her for somebody else... another girl, and my breathing increased. Then, without warning the thought of another person's hands on her made me more infuriated than it did before and what had sparked it? My new found insanity as I couldn't recognize Katie as herself, but another familiar face?

I couldn't see her as Katie anymore, it was wrong but I saw Summer.

The kiss wasn't something I could leave alone now, in a second of unintended reaction, I hadn't even noticed how my arm shot up from behind me and knocked her partner forcefully in the lower back and broke their deepening kiss. The guy stumbled forwards over Katie and reacted in time to catch her from falling even further back. I heard them whispering questionable "Are you okay?" to one another as a flush of astonishment wshed over me briefly. My eyes widened, when I had realized what I had done as I look down at my hand and the half hunched figure of the guy in front of me. I felt myself become angry again when Katie appeared from in front of him with an even angrier face than I had conjured, my eyes narrowed and fists reformed as she stood threateningly toward me and blocking him from view.

"What the _hell_ Freddy?" She screamed at me and shoving me in the chest, I barely staggered back at its attempted strength. I avoided her piercing eyes whilst watching cautiously the guy regain himself and brace himself behind her. He stood a heads height above me, like Zack did, because despite the tall height I had for a guy, others were just a lot taller. This guy I had barely known and attacked without my own hesitant decision, stepped forward and held Katie out to his side, ignoring the fact that she kept raising her voice at me.

"What's your problem man?" He said calmly above her louder, more prominent voice but I gave him no response. Katie became quiet then as he stepped toward me, his hands outstretched in careful defense, though it only made me silently angrier. I snapped inside and furrowed my eyebrows further as his fingertips braised my upper chest when he reached me in close proximity, still aware that I was furious with him.

"Freddy, don't-" Katie began, once she had realized what I could do as she knew me for almost the longest time. Her pleading, large eyes met mine for a second before I tore mine away.

"Don't touch me!" I sneered, and took his hands away from me and stepped forwards also, in the most menacing way I could muster. His expression changed after a while and responded in an equally inauspicious stance, whilst pushing me back again but harder this time. His calm voice had become different but I held no attention for what unkind words he was throwing at me or whatever he could be saying because the sounds had become dull in my ears beneath the sound of my quickening heart.

As quickly as I could before I could change my mind or think over what exactly was going on. I knew I was mad... at Katie for betraying me and having my heart punched down into my gut, I was exasperated at this guy for taking her away from me so easily when I had loved her for longer. Though I worked so hard to make her mine, she was easily taken with someone else after so few attempts. She wasn't mine and she couldn't be.

In the second and split moment that I took to shut my eyes, time had slowed down - I saw Katie's face in many ways I had seen it, smiling, laughing, crying and even angrier than it looked now, and just before I let my eyes open, I saw a face I never thought would occupy my mind, it was Summer's disapproving look. But it was Summer's face nonetheless.

Not allowing myself to think anymore, in the fear that it would stray too far, I only let one emotion fill me as I dived forward an punched this rival of mine straight in the jaw for many reasons that still were unknown to me. This lead to another response of flying fists, punches and further impacts that would leave me in a mess of bruises I knew I would be laughed at for.

I used my strength to send strikes at this guy as a target to get my feelings of jealousy and confusion out and away from me. Before I knew it, I was going to be in a lot more trouble than I thought I ever would for a fist fight, in the name of jealousy for someone you thought you loved.

* * *

_**Summer**_

I put down the phone to Zack with a small curl of a smile left on my face, and threw it onto the sofa that was a metre away from the windowsill that I had perched on when the call began. These conversations were pleasant and helped me dull the loneliness that consumed me when I was away from the familiar faces I'd accustomed myself to throughout the day. Yet I felt the smile disappear when I thought of the selfishness I felt when Zack gave me no news of Katie or even of Freddy, because I wasn't satisfied with just him and him alone. I had tried before, but despite my attempts I could never think of him in that way and within moments my mind would stray elsewhere.

I thought back to the time Zack was playing me a song on the guitar after band practice one day at Dewey's apartment. We were sitting on his sofa and though the song was beautiful, however, my eyes never met his the entire time as they followed a certain drummer boy around the room – as he stood from his seat behind his drum kit and to the fridge to swig a drink of milk from the carton and I stifled a laugh, in fear that Zack would accuse me of not paying absolute attention. That day when I walked home I was completely furious with myself for being that way and thought myself that I owed it to him.

I sighed as I listened out into the silence of the apartment, except for the muffled music of my flat mate in the room down the corridor called Nathan, who although I was sharing a home with over a few weeks, I had not yet grown to know so well. I ought to change that soon otherwise I should be so overcome with the dullness of being alone that I will die – or so to speak.

I stared out the window into the street below of cars passing by in the orange light of the dusky afternoon and traced a finger along the cracked window pane whilst listening to the faint melody of an acoustic ballad from Nathan's room that I recognized as a song Zack had played to me before. My heart sank again and I stopped my finger in its place before I concentrated my eyes on my knees in silent distraction.

Out of my mind's unconsciousness my phone rang, as I realized from the sound of vibrations against the sofa's fabric and the catchy ring tone of the song the band sang at the battle of the bands in elementary school. I clasped the edge of the sill as I peered over at the cell phone screen to check the caller id, but leaning back into the cold surface of the window when I saw it said Freddy.

"Are you going to get that?" I jumped once I noticed that Nathan had left his cage of a bedroom that he had always kept himself in, I also heard the louder sound of the acoustic guitar that was no longer blocked by the barrier of his door, and the soulful voice that so reminded me of Zack's voice when he sang. I stared up at him in disbelief, remaining in my backed up position against the far window. I finally moved, stepping off the sill and walking towards the sofa, leaning over to scoop it up in my hand as Nathan retreated towards the bathroom.

The ringing stopped as soon as I pressed the call accept button with my shaky finger, but took another few seconds before I readied myself and pressed the phone to my ear with both hands, as I was frightened I would not hear him properly.

"Hello?" He murmured cautiously as if he had been repeating it for several times and awaited a reply from me.

"Freddy?" I asked unsure if this was real and wondered why he had decided to call me of all these times. This time it was my turn to wait for a reply on the other end of the line and I was hopeful that my heart wouldn't go and burst out of my chest and that he wouldn't hear the increased heaviness of my impatient breathing.

"Tink? Uh, hey... I think I need a little help."

* * *

_A/N : _New chapter, kind of a joiner chapter. Hope you enjoy and thanks to the sole reviewer who claims this spot of acknowledge for their own! N-a-bl, thank you so much! I hope you understand that mess up there, but I'm sure you smart people may work it out somehow. Updates will come soon with the amount of snowy days that cause schools to be closed etc. yay!

-Fallen11angel


	8. Torrential Downpour

** All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Seven_

* * *

__

_**Summer  
**_

The rain was coming down so hard it was like standing in the midst of a monsoon. I could see barely anything two metres away from me and the rain was pummelling my small umbrella so hard, that at some point over the next few minutes it may actually give underneath all this pressure. Not that the umbrella was of that much use anyway, because the rain that fell around me at all sides was splashing so hard that the bottoms of my jeans up until my knees was soaked already. The only thing that remained salvaged and dry was my face and hair, thinking of this made me acknowledge the damp on the rest of my arms and body that I shivered.

I was standing alone at the local bus station and I had to admit that even this was beyond the early morning usual for me. I tried to cradle the umbrella in the crook of my neck to look down at my watch, clawing at the foggy glass time figures to actually be able to count the time. Much to my failure, I nearly lost my balance and fell in the puddle by the edge of the sidewalk, so I discontinued my attempt to check up on the time.

This was so typical of me, so cliché. For me to be standing here, alone and risking my own personal health for the likes of- him. But of course if you ask something of Summer Hathaway, then it's very unlikely she'll say no. Or actually, it is very unlikely she'll say no and not give her full efforts into it. Why was I referring to myself in the third person? I could be going crazy from dementia, impatience or maybe my brain was so cold and numb that all the nerves had frozen over and I couldn't think straight anymore... I was overanalysing.

Only when the umbrella shook between my icy fingertips did I realise I was standing in a ray of pink light, with the little sunshine that came between the thick rainclouds flickering in rays here and there on my umbrella top. I let out a breath of steam from between my parted mouth as I peered into the distance of the wide street, wondering if imagined the brakes of a bus finally reaching my ears. He was here-

Out of the curtain of roaring rain came the increasing volume of a heavy bus engine and along with it, the smell of gas and hot rubber. It was only a few minutes after did the small bus finally reach my view and its misty silhouette down the street suddenly was brought to life by its proximity, allowing me to react and step back before I was further drenched by the evils of muddy rainwater. As if landing coincidentally in front of me, the double exit doors of the bus stood directly in front of me which I stared at quizzically to open at any moment.

With a loud creak that was a familiar sound to that of the bus doors opening, I peered up through the misty spray of rain and into the darkness of the bus interior in front of me – Nathan stepped out unhesitant and hasty, into the coverage of my small umbrella. I lifted my umbrella a notch to make up room for where Nathan towered over me, before he took the umbrella from my icy fingers and shoved them casually into the large pockets of his hoodie to dry them off. Over the past few weeks I found that Nathan finally came out of his shell and spoke to me a lot more around the apartment. At first he just appeared continentally here and there, but as time went on I think somehow we became friends. Whilst still having time for my afternoon chats with Zack, I had somebody else to spend time with – I wasn't feeling so lonely anymore.

I felt Nathan's warm yet disapproving look on my face as I took another chance of imagined bus engine noise to examine the length of the rainy street. Apparently, Nathan didn't understand the concept of doing strange and crazy things for somebody who didn't share the same feelings back – of course not, even that doesn't make any sense. Basically being translated as, doing anything for Freddy Jones because I liked him so much.

"So when is Mr. Drummer boy arriving Miss Hathaway?" He questioned and teased, so much so that I could just picture the smirk on his face without having to physically know it was there.

"Any minute now." I replied, still not meeting his eyes as I couldn't tolerate seeing that disapproving look he always knew to have at the perfect time. I couldn't help but acknowledge that like Zack, Nathan had that same irritating habit of always being right – which I countered by never thinking I was wrong, with a great learnt self-deception which I had always benefitted from so well.

When I finally craned my neck to look up at Nathan, one of my closest friends, I couldn't help but fight the habit of comparing him to other who I was more familiar with. I pleasantly hoped that Nathan wasn't able to read my mind like he usually did, which meant that his silence was his way of knowing what was happening but him not bothering to question it out loud. In a lot of ways, Nathan was nothing like Freddy Jones. At times I found myself talking to an image of Freddy because they shared that love for teasing the vulnerable, for music and playing the curves of their mouth into an alluring smirk of a smile. But Nathan was kind, understanding, mature and patient whilst Freddy had bad timing, was vain, conserved and childish-

My train of thoughts were broken by the abrupt sound of a second bus halting in the exact place the previous one had before. Even with the roar of the rain and its blinding nature, I was shocked at myself for not having noticed its arrival into our space. I tried to peek at the double doors directly behind Nathan from over his shoulders and after having failed miserably for my lack of decent height; so I leant over to look into the bus from his side.

The familiar squeak of the bus brakes came a split second after the double doors swung open and revealed first, a large suitcase. Daring myself to look up further, my eyes were lead up from the distinct sight of Freddy's sneakers, his rugged jeans, up eventually to his band t-shirt and his typical nonchalant expression. Knowing him so well, I took note of the drumsticks that would inevitably have harboured in his back jean pockets and the leather bracelet he sported on his right wrist. As ever, Freddy Jones was underdressed for the weather. Just as Nathan half-turned and revealed my place of hiding to our new companion, I straightened up to fix my hair and Freddy picked up his luggage before jumping out the bus.

At first he tried to stand in the rain alone, as if afraid to come any closer to us but after a minute or so, he sighed in defeat before joining in the crowd underneath the small, girly umbrella. It was like I was trapped in the middle of a cage of illusions, one illusion which was the heavenly stature of Freddy Jones with his foul attitude, whilst the other was Nathan with the perfect character I wished Freddy had. I felt like I was holding my breath for far too long and only managed to remember how let air in my lungs again when I heard Freddy's hoarse voice to my right.

"Hey Tink, I'm here." He said in his typical, expressionless sort of way. Even then I knew the pride that ebbed in his voice, as if he knew he was superior to everyone because he was just that much better – and he was to me. I hated that I thought he was beyond Gods. After I failed to muster a reply or greeting, I felt Freddy turn to Nathan and they began their stud-ly male introductions.

Pieces of conversation managed to filter through into my brain system while my heart raced uncontrollably in my chest and my own thoughts spoke louder than the reality I was facing in front of me. _This can't be happening_, I thought without moving an inch of my body, _Freddy Jones is here. _

"I've heard a lot about you from Summer." Nathan's deep voice came into my conscious mind and bringing me back from my train wreck of a brain, suddenly my eyes darted from Nathan's navy blue hoodie to Freddy's black Good Charlotte t-shirt. I found myself studying the stitching on Nathan's sweater and then the gold lettering on Freddy's t-shirt, my mind forcing me into any action possible to calm myself down – but I couldn't, not when suddenly everything was happening so fast. This was a dream, wasn't it?

"You have? Oh about our school band I guess. She's never mentioned you before, but me and Summer don't talk that much anyway." Freddy's voice came, I felt faint. I felt stupid for overreacting, but this was something I couldn't control. My body was controlling me and Freddy Jones still held the leading title of being the only boy to make my heart beat so much that I could die. Was it always this way? How had I ever been able to survive before for all these years?

"Yeah we live in the same apartment-"

* * *

_**Freddy**_

By this time was only aware of two things; one, that my bag was probably ass-drenched by now in the torrential downpour behind me and two, Summer wasn't looking or talking to me. She'd been so glad to help me out after I was kicked out of school for my "excessive violent" behaviour, but if she never wanted me here then why didn't she just say it to my face. I was watching for her to move, or more like staring at the top of her head while I droned on to her flat-mate with dead small-talk. But I was getting more and more annoyed at she was paying no attention to me, especially since I was the guest here!

Nothing was going right for me this year, or more like I realised that once I had something that was right in my grip, I quick and stupid enough to let it slip out from my hands. The only reason I had drive for going to Stanford's University of Music was because Zack and Katie wanted it and would be there – I never had any drive on my own. I can't really decide what I want on my own, it's silly but I have to follow the rest of the gang around like a puppy to eventually figure out what I want. Or was it that way..? Somewhere along the way I went from loving playing music, and becoming sick of it, then loving Katie to... to I don't know- I just wanted to slum around and play my drums when I felt like it. I had no direction, really.

Just as I about to suggest getting a move on before we all catch an infectious virus called the cold and have to face looking at each other's gross sick faces, Summer finally looked up at me with her usual wide brown eyes. I caught a glimpse of a horrified look in those two dark brown eyes that I quickly shrugged away as her rethinking the situation through and possibly finding it impossible, stupid or hating it already. I mean, that's what you think when you suddenly realise you have to be in the same town and school space as your worst enemy right? I always wondered what drove her to be the only one to help me anyways. I had no choice really, I couldn't be stuck with the Dreamgirls, my cousin or let alone so to London. Trust me, Summer was the last resort and thankfully, I'm not homeless.

Actually, I am homeless. I'm here but I have nowhere to stay and since when will I get by doing Business Management. I know nothing about business... or management! Even putting the two together and I know I'm a loss! I'll be out of here by the next semester I'm predicting – I was, for once, understanding how Summer was feeling if she was. We were over our heads, this was impossible, for the both us. This won't last.

I came back to reality with the sound of the tall guy's voice and Summer's quieter one asking her friend to pick up my stuff. Thankfully, I reached earth back in time and with reflexes quick enough to take my bag from that guy – damn I forgot already? Did Summer really think that I was that weak that I could barely hold my own little bag anymore? Was I that low to her?

"My car's this way." Summer said over her shoulder and running up ahead of us. I thought about her safety from the downpour when I was cut off and realised that the rain was now barely even a light drizzle and had suddenly died down completely. The sun was fully out in the sky now and was making the puddles and wet sidewalk shimmer blindingly into my eyes. In the time that I was spaced out, the umbrella had come down too and was held limp and flapping in that guy's hand. He followed Summer from behind, which too prompted me to follow the two of them to Summer's car. I remembered this car, I thought with a few glimpses of sleeping on her lap and Zack's pissed off face from that other time.

I trailed behind thinking about Zack and mine's last conversation. In fact, Summer Hathaway was never a result that crossed my mind when I was thinking of places to go after getting kicked out from school, it was only Zack that mentioned it as a passing comment that I took seriously because I couldn't find any other place to go.

So the main reasons _I_ have to be here with Summer Hathaway; I have nowhere else to go, nowhere to live, her school actually decided to take me unlike any others, she's still a familiar face and well... Zack wants me to put in a good for him while I'm here, and Katie wants me to keep an eye on her. Maybe this is too much for me to do, I'm guessing things can only get worse from here.


	9. Summer's Apartment

**All These Things We Feel**

_Chapter Eight  
_

* * *

_**Freddy**_

For the first time in my life, or so I thought it was, I was observing every single detail of my surroundings. The fleeting proximity of Summer's wavy brunette hair as she opened the white, Victorian styled front door of her apartment and stepped inside, away from view. The flooding of warm rays of sunlight from their broad windows, designed with settable cushioned windowsills and the light traces of dust particles in the air. A faint musk of something comfortable yet unrecognisable which I felt like calling cosy, and homelike. The distinct feeling of – suddenly, my train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the sharp sound of my suitcase slipping out of my fingers and thudding against the dark wooden floors. I was barely conscious of the fact that I was standing just outside the premises for so long that Summer's flatmate had slipped past me to enter; that my hands were so tightly wound around the handle of my bag that they grew tired of the tension and let go. I regained my cool, calm composure and carried my bag inside, brushing a collected hand over my messy hair as I did so.

Once inside, I peered around and decided to settle my suitcase by the coach in this main room, which I identified as a mixture of a living room, kitchen, dining room and lobby. Not that I was complaining, Summer had her living much better compared to mine and Zack's shared dorm room – which I might add was no larger than this room. In the silence, I found myself wondering where Tink was and somewhere at the back of my mind, hoping that she wasn't alone with that 'other guy', as he was nowhere to be found as well.

Unfortunately, my doubts were proved accurate when I heard a murmuring of two voices in a room to the left of this one, which I assumed was one of the bedrooms. If it did, I thought my heart sank a little, but that wasn't right in the balance of all things – my heart _did not_ sink. And my heart certainly did not sink for Summer. Or did it?

I settled myself on a high stool at the kitchen bar, not looking in the direction of, but with my ears perked in the attention of catching the conversation in the bedroom. Even with the door slightly ajar, I could only hear the words "stay… nowhere…" and "tonight" drifting into this empty room. I more or less caught the gist of the conversation.

I hoped they made the decision to not make me a homeless person.

At least just not for tonight.

Summer burst out of her bedroom with her typical authoritative enthusiasm, carrying an assortment of newspapers, forms and miscellaneous papers in her arms and her 'other guy' following behind, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. I couldn't quite place the expression his face, but it was something I thought I'd understood. What was it… discomfort? No… jealousy? No… just disagreement?

As Summer approached the bar I was sat at, she set down the pile of papers in front of me and cast the 'other guy' an upturned eyebrow and side glance as he passed by the both of us and straight into his bedroom. A moment later, his door was shut and I heard the faint mumble of Nirvana through soundproof walls – meaning his music was being played moderately loud. After I acknowledged the drum riffs of the song 'Come As You Are', I looked at Summer's averted face and realized we were alone.

I was alone with Summer and I was afraid, because I didn't know how I felt. I didn't know what I might do… considering I had already ruined the life I had always known. I had ruined it, and as if I was trapped in some alternative universe of the real world… I was sitting in Summer Hathaway's apartment wishing somewhere inside myself that she would let me stay the night… on her couch of course.

My eyes lingered on the curves of her delicate hands as she sifted through various things a little too long that I felt guilty. I felt wrong. I _could not_ feel this way and I would fight it all I wanted.

I swear, I could ask to want any other girl but this one.

"Okay, here. Fill this one out," She finally spoke, breaking my gaze which was trailing up at the shape of her arm, "I picked it up for you yesterday morning."

She turned to me but did not look into my eyes, instead she pushed a light blue form into my hand – which I had not realised until now was outstretched and open in her direction. With disbelief I took the opportunity to turn away and the silence between the both of us was broken by the sound of pen scraping paper. I filled out the details I'd known to fill out without thinking… my name: Freddy Jones. Age: Eighteen. Occupation: Lost Cause. Rebel. Student. Transferring from: Stanford University, College of Music. Reason…

My eyes and hands were focused on writing, but my brain was painfully and vividly aware of the presence and the closeness of Summer Hathaway. So much that the skin on my arms and back seemed to spark or was just too hot for me to concentrate fully on the words I was writing. But I was sure my composure and expression gave nothing away – as far as anyone was concerned, Summer still made my skin crawl, and not in the good way.

"You'll have to hand that in on Monday when you go into the University," She spoke up again just as I was signing my signature and dating it, with her convenient timing, "If you want I can go with yo-"

"It's okay, I can go by myself." I interrupted, not meaning to, but obviously sounding irritated.

She sighed a sigh I didn't understand, "Oh sure. I guess… Well, Nathan and I agreed at you could stay here for tonight or until you can find a place of your own because our landlord doesn't allow more than two in the apartment..." From her pile of papers she slipped out a newspaper, appropriately opened on the property and lettings pages (she really didn't leave things half done, did she). "Have a look here and I'll help you out when you find something." Summer added, and by her attitude I could tell I was making her feel awkward. I thought I'd help her escape this trap that was me.

I stood up from my seat and scooped up the forms and newspapers with one hand before chucking them neatly to land on top of my suitcase. I walked across the room towards the front door trying to look cool and indifferent to this entire situation.

Without turning my body and merely giving Summer a quarter of a side glance, I responded, "I think I'm going to have a look around, see whatever you've got here." I put my hand on the door handle and made a gesture to leave, I knew she wasn't going to but why did I kind of want her to stop me and ask me to stay a little while. "Uh, Thanks for this Tink." I added, with a weak half smile.

I didn't need to look at Summer to know that she had a smile on her face too, I could hear it somehow as I passed the doorway.

"Welcome to town, Freddy."


End file.
